Wound up drive

Good old Boodha is a mild mannered guy – the kind of guy who goes for a morning walk every day, waters his neighbor’s plants when they are away and mends all the torn public library books whenever he issues them; but there are just some days when irritation trickles down his peaceful little world and hits him much like ice cream hits you through the cracked enamel of your teeth. Well it so happened, that Boodha was on one of his peaceful little strolls today morning when a passing school uniform clad motorcyclist sloshed a puddle full of mud water on his face. Soaking wet and angry at himself for not being able to come up with an insult in time, he looked up accusingly at the sky as if to ask god, ‘Why me?’ when he saw Dhoni staring down at him from a poster which read – ‘Youngistaan meri jaan’; bitter at the incident, Boodha then went on to draw a parallel between youngistaan and a rather crude anatomical part in the same fashion (which the author refuses to publish in order to maintain the sanctity of this blog).
Now you would think that this would be the appropriate end to any incident involving fluids being hurled or any person being publicly humiliated through a cruel twist of fate, but that would be so because you my dear reader, are unacquainted with the ways of Boodha. Well, he in this instance went on to theorize upon the Indian motorist and infuriate the editors of many a popular newspapers, who repeatedly ignored his countless letters to educate the masses about proper driving habits - parts of which are given below.